Hello all and welcome to my blog. I like to refer of myself as a connoisseur of people. I KNOW OF a lot and people and I KNOW a lot of people. There is a difference. For instance, I know of one lady who works in the office across from mine. I say hello to her and ask how her weekend went and so forth. The man who works in the office with me, I’ve known for several years. He likes spicy foods, been married for 27 years and has three kids. See what I mean?
I like to read captions of women supporting each other. I read them all the time and one of the women that I know puts out encouraging memes to encourage other women. I met her at one of the women’s conferences and we became close friends. She had millions of followers on social media and every time she would put something out, women would flock to buy it. Her books sold by the millions and her memes were plastered almost everywhere. She spoke at conferences, universities and Oprah, the queen herself invited her into her home. I was proud to call her my friend.
My friend didn’t have a man in her life and she was lonely. Most of the men she knew were only with her for her money and she would find out after giving them a little chunk of her change. She was in love with them and love will make you do things you’d never thought of doing. My husband and I had been married for ten years and together for thirteen. He was handsome, healthy and wealthy. I’ve met men that looked better than my husband, had more money but what my husband lacked he made up in how he treated me. I was secure in my marriage and I felt it every day when I’m with him. I never doubted his love for me and I never worried when he spoke with other women. Women were a part of this world too so I didn’t get jealous when they were around him. The one thing I loved about my husband was how quick he was to put a woman in her place when she tried to overstep her boundaries. Some men liked the attention and this is where my friends story comes in.
She had befriended a few of my girlfriends who were all married. She met each of them and their husbands through me and my husband. One night I threw a dinner party and we were all having a good time. I saw my friend talking with one of my girlfriend’s husband but didn’t think anything of it because we were all mingling with each other. A few weeks later my friend called and asked when were we having another party and to make sure she was invited. I laughed and noticed she sounded happier than usual. I brushed it off as she may have sold another million books or something.
I was out early one morning and saw my friend and my girlfriend’s husband leaving a hotel parking lot. I, again, didn’t think anything of it and drove on to do my early morning grocery shopping and run some errands. When I arrived home my husband asked me what was wrong with my phone. I checked it and the battery had died and my phone turned off. He said one of my girlfriend’s had been calling me but couldn’t reach me. I thought it was serious so I plugged up my phone to let it charge for a few minutes and then called her back.
After hanging up with my girlfriend I told my husband to make himself scarce as she was coming over to talk. I put my groceries away and checked for any other messages I had missed while my phone was off. I made a few more phone calls and by the time I finished my girlfriend had arrived. She looked as if she had been crying. I had known her for over ten years. We were in the same profession and often times bounced ideas off each other. She was a beautiful lady and she and her husband had been trying to have a child. She had sat down and didn’t wait to tell me what was wrong. Her husband was having an affair.
That was something I wasn’t expecting to hear and then it all made since. She asked me what I was thinking and I told her what I saw and when. She said it all adds up now. The late night phone calls, the weekends away to his mother’s only for his mother to call and ask for him. I saw the light dull in her bright eyes. Her shoulders slouched with grief and her hands shook from the knowledge that her husband was no longer faithful to her.
She asked me what should she do and I had no answer for her. I know what I would like to think I would do but she wasn’t me. I told her she would need to talk with her husband. If she wanted to salvage her marriage then she needed to fight but if this is not something worth all the trials and tribulations, then let it go and move on. All of that may be hard to do. In this situation it is easy to say what you will do but our actions are hard to carry out.
When my husband came home I told him what was going on. I didn’t want us to get involved. It was their business and we would be there for them if they needed us. I do not regret telling her what I saw and I hoped that it wouldn’t come back to bite me in the behind. Women tend to remember things and turn them around on you.
My girlfriend wanted to keep her marriage but trust is a fragile thing. Once broken, nothing is ever the same as it was. They argued all the time. She would call me crying in the middle of the night because he was not home. She thought he was out with the other woman but I knew he wasn’t. He was with my husband and a few of our friends trying to help him through the process. The friend came to my house and wanted to talk about how she did nothing wrong. I told her she knew the man was married. She said he was going to leave his wife and they would be together. I don’t know what he promised her but I asked her how could she uplift women and at the same time stomp on another woman’s house. It wasn’t like she didn’t know he was married. She knew. And God will never give her someone else’s husband.
She was willing to be with this man who had nothing to offer her. He was never going to leave his wife for her. He went to her because he and his wife were having problems conceiving. They were each blaming the other for being incapable of producing a child. He went to her because it was easy to put the blame on his wife to a stranger. She listened without judging him; without telling him to talk this over with his wife; she put down the woman when she should have been lifting her up. But when you think you are in love and that man is giving you just a taste of what you’ve been missing, all rhyme and reason doesn’t exist.
Karma has a way of showing up when you least expect it to. Someone else saw her with a married man and put all of her business out on social media. A few of her sponsors dropped her and her book sales plummeted. Women who hung on her every word called her a hypocrite. She asked me what should she do and I told her she knew what she was doing when she laid with a married man and it was up to her to figure it out.
It was hard for my girlfriend to get over what her husband had done but by the time she filed for a divorce she found out she was three months pregnant. Still, a child doesn’t make a marriage work and continued with the divorce proceedings. Even if she tried to work things out she realized the pain was just too deep and it would take time for her to move on from it. She didn’t want her child to be raised in that type of environment. As time went on she was able to forgive him but she no longer loved him.
I wanted to ask my husband would he ever cheat on me but I never did. This was not the time for me to feel insecure and ask questions that shouldn’t be asked. Our foundation was solid but if things didn’t work out I can only say right now that I would have to move on.
Peace and Blessings!